Understanding Limitations: Accommodating Disability

Clarifying What Disability Means: Understanding Your Limits

In the previous post we discussed mental and physical disability and what happens emotionally and mentally when you realize you cannot live as you once did. I got a few comments with distress about the use of the word 'disability'. This is a stigmatized word. Saying someone is disabled is almost an insult to some. Just like how the word retarded used to be degrading, now we use mentally challenged. I have even heard preferences towards physical disability's being called physical impairments. The word doesn't really matter so much as the meaning behind it that is the key, limits. Like it or not whether you have a physical illness or mental illness you are surely limited in daily activities, personal affairs, social situations, etc. This means there is just some things you can't do anymore or you can't do sometimes. A disability doesn't have to be permanent.

For example if I have anxiety and I have to take a test most likely I will not do well as compared to if I was calm. How well can you do certain tasks when your minds in total meltdown? Probably not as well as when your mind is calm and organized. This is what I mean about disability. With this as I mentioned in the previous post this causes frustration within ourselves. Anger, resentment, and frustration at our inability to cope with situations, do our jobs well, or communicate with our loved ones effectively. I am sure some of you have seen this in yourselves, where once you were the go to person that could multi-task and get things done, now your mind gets so overwhelmed you can't think straight and you end up not doing most of the stuff on your to do list. You as a person have changed, right now, or for periods of time you are unable to do what you once did. This leads to feelings associated with loss of identity and lowered self-esteem.

From my experience and from what I have observed in others I find that without the conscience acceptance of our limits with mental and even physical disability the more prone we are to relapse and fall off the proverbial horse and hit the ground hard! This is what I saw with my unwillingness to accept I had a mental illness. I lived a way that was detrimental to my health because I viewed myself as perfectly capable, rational, and took on things that led to the demise of a good chunk of my life. If I were to have realized my strengths and weaknesses perhaps I would of handled things differently. 

When disability or illness hits we have to change how we live. We have to asses within ourselves what we can't do and can do. On an earlier forum today dealing with physical illness a women posted,”We cannot think about what we can't do but rather what we can.”

Accommodation for our needs is the key element to turning a can't into a can. An example I can give you is I have a very hard time grocery shopping. I have a horrid memory and easily get confused and disoriented. So to accommodate my mental meltdown in the grocery store I make a list of everything I need. I go as far as taking a pen with me and I carefully mark off every item I put in the basket. The pen is a life saver! Without it I get just as confused and disoriented. I am the women in the store clutching the white paper in one hand a pen in the other looking around intently hunting down her sought after items! -I am very aware I look like a mad women, that's okay though I get my shopping done.

I have seen a lot written about accommodating illness and disability’s in the work place and school but not for our day to day lives. These are important as well but if we have trouble doing simple daily tasks like cleaning the house and caring for our children and spouses it is a huge blow to our self esteem and confidence.

This is where I get back to the basics of what this blog is all about, it's simple yet profound, mindfulness. Mindfulness is being the observer of ourselves and our environment and I go into more depth in it here. Becoming mindful of ourselves, our needs, and what our environment expects from us we can begin to formulate a plan to accommodate our limitations.

Disability and limitations doesn't mean you necessarily can't do something you just have to do it differently. That is how and why your unique, you become a mindful warrior, taking limitations and becoming limitless. I know this may sound like some sort of self help blurb right now but it's true.

Tips and Considerations: Managing Illness

First, if you are not already aware ask yourself honestly what you can and can't do. What tasks trigger stress, what tasks or situations are difficult to manage, what 'could' you do but are unable to now?

Tackle certain tasks at the right time of day. Ask yourself when you have the most energy and use that time to tackle more difficult tasks.

Take time or schedule time to relax. Do something you enjoy. Struggling with mental illness and the rainbow of difficulties it presents can be exhausting, like someone with a heart condition you need to take a breather.

Experiment! Try new ways of doing things.

Write down tasks or situations that send your mind into chaos and create new ways of handling them. A simple example that comes to mind is I have a heck of a time folding laundry. I get frustrated quick, however, I have found a new way to accomplish it and have fun! Seriously I did. I watch YouTube videos on my computer, now it's my secret time to kick back and relax.

I honestly can admit I have had a problem doing everything under the sun. My fix all solution is I meditate while I do things. Which means I focus on my senses, my breathe, what I see, feel, hear, smell. I become detached from the outcome of the task, I enjoy tasks that at one time drove me nuts, and every task can be refreshing and enjoyable.

This list is difficult for me to explain to you because everyone has different difficulties and I can only convey what I have done to turn limitations into do able feats. The most valuable tip I can offer is be creative. You have the power to be successful and to live everyday joyfully and overcome your limits. You may live differently than 'the norm' but the point is your living.

Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness means to be mindful or aware of our thoughts, feelings, and environmental surroundings. Most of us our lost in our heads, our thoughts run our life, we see through veils of our own beliefs, feelings, and thoughts. Our brain seems to be set up for disaster especially in the case of mental illness. If we let our brains go wild we can become easily disconnected from reality. So the practice of mindfulness and awareness is imperative to our sanity.

The western world

I have often dreamed of living in the wilderness or on my own land far away from society living amongst nature and surviving off the land. I daydream that maybe in that type of environment I would feel at ease and at peace.

I know though that it is not necessarily my environment that causes my discord it is my mind. No matter where I have gone (and I've moved a lot) my mind follows and the same issues eventually arise.

Maybe it is just me, maybe you have felt this way too but I just can't get in the groove of this type of civilization. I see a world run by money, advertising, commerce. Working 9 to 5 jobs, having to be on top of to the do lists. If you slip up it is likely that your safe secure world will crumble or at least be difficult to get back on track.

If you live with a mental illness this reality may have become apparent to you. It is increasingly hard to maintain a functioning life in this society with the ever increasing demands and hoops we must all jump through. Factor in absolutely no down time or down time watching cable TV our minds constantly being hit with more useless information we have no awareness of, well, awareness.

To keep my sanity I do not watch the news, I don't watch horror movies, I do not listen to negative music, I will not keep bad company. Again this is me, these things bother me. To keep my sanity I do not expose myself to any negative situations or environments.

It has taken me years of writing, meditating, and observing myself and my environment to realize these things really do bother me and why. Now I can choose things that will better my moods or keep them stable and my mind clear, well somewhat clear, hey I’m not perfect. Far from it my friend. But I am surely better than I was, so we are off to a good start.

                                                                                  Meditation as a Tool

I recently read an article on the NAMI website talking about tools to create mindfulness and to practice it. It discusses meditation, deep breathing, yoga, and art like writing, painting, sculpting, decorating. You can read the article here as it also has a personal story of someone who has used different techniques to regain his sanity which I found inspiring.

I want to focus on one tool for now; meditation. Meditation is the practice of becoming still. Most people would say it is the practice of clearing your thoughts but the moment you sit down, relax, and become comfortable the first thing that happens is your mind wanders and thoughts race in. Our mind does this. Mental ill or not it is normal. A practice I have found very profound for my well-being is watching my thoughts and letting them be there. Not judging, not following them, just sitting back and watching them breeze by. Just let the thoughts roll by and don't analyze them. If your mind becomes too attached to any one thought or image push it out.

What I find that works best is create your own mental image or word you can focus on. Lets say your mental image is of a flower. If your mind gets too attached to your thoughts or other images go back to the image of a flower and hold it in your mind for a few seconds and let it go which means your not trying to force the image to stay in your minds eye. It can stay or it can leave it doesn't matter. What matters is is allowing your mind to be still and allowing it to flow. It's like watching a river, your sitting on the edge of the embankment watching the water flow by. You get entranced by the calmness of the water. You can do the same with the thoughts and images in your head just watch them flow by and become entranced in the calmness.

This type of meditation practice watching and observing is one of the most beneficial I found for my life. The biggest benefit being 'letting go'. If you practice this you can use it outside of meditation. What if you could see the events of your day and watch them exactly as you watched the river of your mind pass by you? Life wouldn't drive you crazy anymore! Well not as bad anyways; we all slip up.

Have you ever seen the movie Peaceful Warrior? The young man in the story meets an old man who he finds intriguing and wise and wants to know how the old man can do the things he does. The old man teaches him to meditate. He makes the young man clean bathrooms and do daunting cleaning tasks and the young boy gets so angry and yells how the hell is cleaning a bathroom going to train my mind? The old man tells him he has to learn that everything we do is a meditation. Once you realize this, once you become fully aware of the present moment, any moment, cleaning toilets or driving your car you can master your mind which means to be present or aware.

The movie is based on true events that Dan Millman experienced who later became a medal winning gymnast and writer. He learned that when he focused on the moment and become fully present and aware he was able to perform better than he normally did. Believe me if I’m present I can not only do things better I can “do things”, meaning I can actually function. Sometimes brushing my teeth is an accomplishment, I don't need to be on New York’s Best Sellers List; I brushed my teeth! Alright, that would be nice too.