Understanding Limitations: Accommodating Disability

Clarifying What Disability Means: Understanding Your Limits

In the previous post we discussed mental and physical disability and what happens emotionally and mentally when you realize you cannot live as you once did. I got a few comments with distress about the use of the word 'disability'. This is a stigmatized word. Saying someone is disabled is almost an insult to some. Just like how the word retarded used to be degrading, now we use mentally challenged. I have even heard preferences towards physical disability's being called physical impairments. The word doesn't really matter so much as the meaning behind it that is the key, limits. Like it or not whether you have a physical illness or mental illness you are surely limited in daily activities, personal affairs, social situations, etc. This means there is just some things you can't do anymore or you can't do sometimes. A disability doesn't have to be permanent.

For example if I have anxiety and I have to take a test most likely I will not do well as compared to if I was calm. How well can you do certain tasks when your minds in total meltdown? Probably not as well as when your mind is calm and organized. This is what I mean about disability. With this as I mentioned in the previous post this causes frustration within ourselves. Anger, resentment, and frustration at our inability to cope with situations, do our jobs well, or communicate with our loved ones effectively. I am sure some of you have seen this in yourselves, where once you were the go to person that could multi-task and get things done, now your mind gets so overwhelmed you can't think straight and you end up not doing most of the stuff on your to do list. You as a person have changed, right now, or for periods of time you are unable to do what you once did. This leads to feelings associated with loss of identity and lowered self-esteem.

From my experience and from what I have observed in others I find that without the conscience acceptance of our limits with mental and even physical disability the more prone we are to relapse and fall off the proverbial horse and hit the ground hard! This is what I saw with my unwillingness to accept I had a mental illness. I lived a way that was detrimental to my health because I viewed myself as perfectly capable, rational, and took on things that led to the demise of a good chunk of my life. If I were to have realized my strengths and weaknesses perhaps I would of handled things differently. 

When disability or illness hits we have to change how we live. We have to asses within ourselves what we can't do and can do. On an earlier forum today dealing with physical illness a women posted,”We cannot think about what we can't do but rather what we can.”

Accommodation for our needs is the key element to turning a can't into a can. An example I can give you is I have a very hard time grocery shopping. I have a horrid memory and easily get confused and disoriented. So to accommodate my mental meltdown in the grocery store I make a list of everything I need. I go as far as taking a pen with me and I carefully mark off every item I put in the basket. The pen is a life saver! Without it I get just as confused and disoriented. I am the women in the store clutching the white paper in one hand a pen in the other looking around intently hunting down her sought after items! -I am very aware I look like a mad women, that's okay though I get my shopping done.

I have seen a lot written about accommodating illness and disability’s in the work place and school but not for our day to day lives. These are important as well but if we have trouble doing simple daily tasks like cleaning the house and caring for our children and spouses it is a huge blow to our self esteem and confidence.

This is where I get back to the basics of what this blog is all about, it's simple yet profound, mindfulness. Mindfulness is being the observer of ourselves and our environment and I go into more depth in it here. Becoming mindful of ourselves, our needs, and what our environment expects from us we can begin to formulate a plan to accommodate our limitations.

Disability and limitations doesn't mean you necessarily can't do something you just have to do it differently. That is how and why your unique, you become a mindful warrior, taking limitations and becoming limitless. I know this may sound like some sort of self help blurb right now but it's true.

Tips and Considerations: Managing Illness

First, if you are not already aware ask yourself honestly what you can and can't do. What tasks trigger stress, what tasks or situations are difficult to manage, what 'could' you do but are unable to now?

Tackle certain tasks at the right time of day. Ask yourself when you have the most energy and use that time to tackle more difficult tasks.

Take time or schedule time to relax. Do something you enjoy. Struggling with mental illness and the rainbow of difficulties it presents can be exhausting, like someone with a heart condition you need to take a breather.

Experiment! Try new ways of doing things.

Write down tasks or situations that send your mind into chaos and create new ways of handling them. A simple example that comes to mind is I have a heck of a time folding laundry. I get frustrated quick, however, I have found a new way to accomplish it and have fun! Seriously I did. I watch YouTube videos on my computer, now it's my secret time to kick back and relax.

I honestly can admit I have had a problem doing everything under the sun. My fix all solution is I meditate while I do things. Which means I focus on my senses, my breathe, what I see, feel, hear, smell. I become detached from the outcome of the task, I enjoy tasks that at one time drove me nuts, and every task can be refreshing and enjoyable.

This list is difficult for me to explain to you because everyone has different difficulties and I can only convey what I have done to turn limitations into do able feats. The most valuable tip I can offer is be creative. You have the power to be successful and to live everyday joyfully and overcome your limits. You may live differently than 'the norm' but the point is your living.

What's Going On: An Inside Look At Mental & Physical Disability

Thus far in my mental health blog I have written about what I have experienced, what I have learned. I took a leave of absence from last week because of not only battling mental demons but physical as well. I have been through a lot in my life, obviously dealing with mental illness, and if that wasn't enough now I have another battle to fight; physical disability.

From Flikr By WELS.net

I have had physical issues for awhile, a lot of pain and an increasing difficulty walking and working my day job. I have found out that I have Ehler-Danlos Syndrome which is a connective tissue disorder which effects the collagen in my body. The main characteristics are loose unstable joints, easy bruising, elastic skin, full and partial dislocations and of course lots of pain. I am not going to go into great depth about my struggles physically but you can read more about it here at Zebra Living. I am however going to go into the emotional and mental aspects of dealing with a physical/mental disability.

Disability: A physical or mental condition that limits a person's movements, senses, or activities.

It is clear that mental disability can be just as debilitating as a physical disability and people need to recognize it as such. I had been guilty of considering myself weak for my inability to accomplish certain tasks or handle situations mentally. Our society teaches us that mental illness can be easily overcome more so than a physical condition but that is not the case. Both can be just as debilitating as the other. Both put limits on your ability to function. So it can be true both can be managed and dealt with. It is still possible to live life fully and achieve our highest potential. We need to look at what happens to our 'self' when we become disabled.

Loss Of Identity

It comes on gradually but you suddenly realize something is missing. I sat thinking for awhile and I figured out that this lonely empty feeling I had that tugged at my insides was that I had lost my identity. I can't do what I once did, I can't be the active outgoing social person I use to be, I had lost a part of myself that kept me going. That kept me on my toes and involved in life.

Physical and mental disability does that, it robs you of aspects of yourself slowly and over time you don't even know who you are anymore. You feel like an empty shell. Your unsure of how to participate in life both socially and personally.

Physical and mental disability changes who you are. Many mental health bloggers have said you are not your illness and while that is true it is still apart of you, it colors much of your life whether you want it to or not. You can't deny it or ignore it. If you suffer from a mental/physical disability you have to take into account every daily activity you are apart of.

For me right now I have to think for example how I will go grocery shopping. I have to wear braces from head to toe to be able to walk, sometimes I need to think about possibly using a wheel chair. If I do how will I manage my 3 kids? Will I be in more pain if I go grocery shopping? Will I be able to do my other chores later if I go grocery shopping?

Even though I am not my illness it reminds me every second of the day it's there. The same can be said about mental illness. Mentally I have to asses the same limits. Whether I can handle a social situation and what actions will I take if this or that happens. Both illnesses take a huge part in how I live and manage my life.

Respect

Respect your illness, respect your disabilities. Yes, you can overcome them but you can't force them to go away. You can't force them to leave you alone when you got a million things to do. They are with you and you must always take them into account if you want to successfully manage them.

We learn to respect our elders for they hold more wisdom. We learn to respect nature for it has a force that could obliterate us. The same goes for illness. Respect it for sometimes it has more power than we are consciously aware of. I know from experience by denying the existence of my limits and my illness it has under my conscious awareness destroyed my life. I respect it now, I give it a voice and I give it what it needs.

Your disability and illness is a part of your identity now. It shapes you. However, it's not all you are. Sometimes when illnesses rob us of what made us who we are we need to start over. We have to shape a new 'us' that includes our illness.

Learning to Live Again

Both mental and physical disability robs us of self, of our identity, of who we thought or think we are. That has to change now. To learn to live again you have to accept for one that you have limits. You can't do everything you use to or what others can do. Sometimes that means giving up jobs or careers we have grown an identity with, lifestyles, daily activities, we have to take in account of what we can do, how we can do it, accommodations we need to do tasks, and really how much energy we have to do it. I think any illness can be exhausting.

I've known I had become a different person after I destroyed a vast majority of my social and personal life and started to recognize I really had a mental issue but it didn't set in that I was considered disabled until I became physically ill. Why is that? I believe it comes down to physical disability is more acceptable than mental disability. I didn't think I associated with this concept until the physical disability set in.

I have a serious physical disability that limits my mobility and causes a lot of pain. In my minds eye I see a crippled old women who is frail and weak. But I have needed the same support, the same medical help, the same “learning to live again” thinking I did when I accepted the fact I had a mental disability.

Next week we will be talking more about learning to live again with a disability and tips and tricks to get us back to living. This is so important as everyone can relate to the loss of identity that happens when faced with health crises. However, there is life after this downfall. Life always manages to go on and we need to brush off our butts and get back to living life in the drivers seat.

                                                                                      Attention Readers

Contact me and let me know what you have gone through with a mental/physical disability and how you felt when you realized you were limited. Did you feel lost? Confused? How did you manage to get through it and have you succeeded? What did you do?

Contact me through email or through Google+ and tell me your story. I'd love to include some passages from your stories with your permission or give me ideas to share with others on what helped you. Thank you and see you soon!

Email: SamRoby84@gmail.com