Talking About Mental Illness

From Flickr by Dennoir

How do you cope with traumatic events? How would you cope with a death of a parent or a failure of a relationship? You talk about it. Your friends and family will want to talk about it. Maybe you would talk about it with co-workers that are close to you or even a therapist. The same can be said about mental illness. How do you ever gain acceptance and move through the natural grieving process that occurs when your newly diagnosed or are recovering from a recent break from reality? Talking.

Even though we are in a new era of the growth of our race as humans and things like gay rights and pro-life/choice are at the top of the controversial topic list what about mental illness? It's something I think every human being can relate to. Look at these facts taken from ADAA:

• Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older (18% of U.S. Population).


• Major Depressive Disorder Affects approximately 14.8 million American adults, or about 6.7 percent of the U.S. population age 18 and older in a given year.


• Many people with an anxiety disorder also have a co-occurring disorder or physical illness, which can make their symptoms worse and recovery more difficult. It’s essential to be treated for both disorders.

Talking about mental illness is what is going to erase stigma. I am not embarrassed to have a mental illness. I know it doesn't make me less or more than another human being, I view myself as equal to the homeless man on the corner and the president of our country. Everyone has their secrets their wrongs their failures. Every person on this earth is messed up in some way shape or form. The point is we try to do better. We strive to adapt and change and make our actions a little better today. When you have a mental illness and talk about it you try to find solutions, your trying to work through it. That's all that matters. Having an illness doesn't make you a bad person. Failing to gain control of your emotions and your struggle with reality doesn't make you wrong, bad, weak, stupid. It makes you strong everyday you wake up and try again.

Another part of a wellness kit that is to me top priority is to have a trusted person you can talk to. Whether it be a spouse, parent, friend, or even older children, someone that you can spill your guts to. Maybe you don't have a person that is supportive and understanding. Another option is to find a support group online, a forum for mental illness, posting in group forums or asking a member to be your support buddy. NAMI (National Alliance of Mental Illness) has a list for many programs such as peer-to-peer groups, family groups, and discussion forums.

I have not used forums for a long time because my husband is really good at listening (I taught him) and he is always ready for me to spill my crazy brain guts at him. I talk to him about catastrophic thoughts I am having, paranoia, topics that are causing anxiety, I even talk to him about suicidal ideations and imagery. I use to hide the fact that I had suicidal thoughts because I was afraid he would get mad or take me to the hospital. I am so grateful that I am able to talk about these things because I found that the more I voice my emotions the less emotionally overwhelming they become and the less I believe I will act on them.

If you have had thoughts of suicide or ideations of death or catastrophe you know how emotionally overwhelming they are. They are real and you just want it to stop. I can tell you from experience if you talk about it whether your calm or speaking through loud sobs get it out of your head! The imagery will lose their power.

When you have a mental illness it is normal to become anxious and angry about some small issues. Issues that after it's said and over with you realize are dumb. I've been there. It's normal. Still talk about it.

But then...

Then there are times when you don't know what to talk about. Depression and anxiety can come on without a reason why. It's just there. My husband would ask me,”What's wrong?” I would answer,”I don't know I’m just depressed.” Then he would ask,”What are you depressed about?”

There is no reason, it's depression, it's an unnameable thing. It's like a creature that lives inside of you and takes over your body. That's where they came up with that old school movie the The Body Snatchers (maybe, you never know). Depression is like a body snatcher.

Same thing goes with anxiety, mania, psychosis, sometimes a switch get's flipped and you find yourself in a different world. Talk about your world. What does your world look like, how does it feel?  

Most of the time I am good about talking but sometimes it takes a lot of prying and persistence from my husband to get me talking. I feel I don't want to talk about it because I am upset I am having these issues again for the millionth time and I feel embarrassed and mad at myself. I just want to get on with my life already. I'm tired of tripping over the same stones. 

Friends and Loved Ones

It's hard to hear someone you care about struggling with their mind, but the best thing you can do for them is listen. Let them spill their guts to you no matter what subject it is and allow them to feel that way. This means if they are having issues don't argue with them about the reasoning for their feelings. Arguing and devaluing their thoughts and feelings makes it worse. Like I said above, sometimes the reasons we are upset obviously are insignificant and I am sure we will realize it when we are stable minded, but at the moment it is consuming us. 

Realize that if you are involved with someone with a mental illness you are probably their only tie to reality. If they are losing their grip you have to pull them back. Both individuals must be on the same page with how to stay well. My husband knows what to do when he sees I am troubled. Sometimes I approach him and tell him my issues and sometimes he approaches me. He has told me that he can't help me if I don't talk. 

I am sure some spouses may feel embarrassed about talking about this topic (both parties) but if you want to stay healthy and happy it is an absolute necessity to talk about it. There are hundreds of ways to make a difference and help your spouse/family/friend stay healthy. The foundation of well-being starts with talking about it.

Thoughts Are Things: Environment Vs. Biochemical and Mental Illness

"Thoughts are things; they have tremendous power. Thoughts of doubt and fear are pathways to failure. When you conquer negative attitudes of doubt and fear you conquer failure. Thoughts crystallize into habit and habit solidifies into circumstances.” Adams, Bryan

If you want to move past mental illness to mental health the best way is through education and awareness of what is actually going on in your brain. Mental illness is a biochemical reaction in your head, your chemicals and neurons are misfiring and creating feelings of anxiety the fight or flight reaction, depression, mania, paranoia etc. But what initially creates those reactions? What triggers those chemicals to go all wacky? Some say the environment others say its just a chemical in-balance, some say both.

In Purpose and Perspective an article in Psychology Today asks "Is your depression due to the environment or biochemical?" Julie K. Hersh explains, “well of course it is biochemical but what causes a clinically depressed brain?” Dr. Daniel Amen says, “that every thought we have causes a chemical and electrical reaction in our brains.” So with that being said wouldn't it be correct to assume that if we change our thoughts we could change the chemical reactions in our minds?

I have been on both sides, one being I can't control how I view life and react to it, whether I get depressed, anxiety, mania, it's just there. The other side of me says yes, I can control it, I have before. Both are true. I have accepted I have an illness something is chemically wrong with my brain but at the same time I can control how it effects me and how I react to the environment. With work and perseverance I can create a better environment in my brain, like the last article I wrote about laughter, laughter and anger cannot exist at the same time. I want to create a brain that accepts more laughter than anger or other negative emotions.

The environment around us consists of so many things, other people and their beliefs, society, politics, nature,how our parents raised us, siblings, etc. Basically everything outside of us. There is a lot that can potentially trigger our mental problems. But what if you changed the way you react to those things through discipline, awareness, and mindfulness. Which simply means that there are multiple perspectives you can view life from. Have you heard the saying there’s two sides to every story? Well it's absolutely true, there are hundreds of sides to every situation and if you can open your mind and your vision you can see life in negative or positive ways, it really is your choice. The more you see life through goodness, beauty, kindness, the healthier your mind will become.

Thoughts are Things

Thoughts are things, I love that saying because it reminds me of that fact, thoughts actually are things. They send electrical stimuli to different parts of our brain which triggers chemical reactions. So if I change my thought pattern I can change the chemical reaction in my brain. It sounds simple right? Well it's not. I have been working on it most of my life over 15 years now and I am no where near a master. But I can say with conviction that if you react differently to your environment then the mental issues you have can be handled so much more easier, it doesn't impact your life as drastically.

Medications do help, but it doesn't solve the problem. What is the problem? The problem is your brain, the way you react to your environment creates the perfect breeding ground for illness, you have to create an environment for health and well being.

From Flickr by Ganga Sunshine

Your Universe: How To Cope

“My internal biochemistry is different than most. I've learned that my unique universe isn't a bad thing, just different. No one looks at a cactus and an orchid and expects them to react in the same way to a similar environment. Why is this concept so difficult for some to accept when they view human beings? Our challenge as humans is we don't get to stick in one spot once we find the right blend of sunlight, water and soil. We move around. Life bangs us from angles we never expected.” -Julie K. Hersh

Every person is different, we all thrive in different environments. Like the above statement we don't get to stick like a cactus in one spot we thrive in, we have to move around. How do we cope then? How do we deal with different environments and thrive? We have to create the environment within ourselves. Where we thrive is inside! We cannot look for outside sources of health, happiness, well being, it all comes from inside.

You are your environment and your environment is you. Your world is different from mine, things that help me cope and thrive may be different than yours. A true teacher would not tell you how to do things. In an article Buddhist Approach to Mental Illness will summarize perfectly my point exactly. In this article Dr. Stan Gold asks Lama Yeshe a Buddhist monk questions about how to treat mental illness. 

Q: Lama Yeshe, how do you go about treating mental illness? How do you help people with mental illness?

"I try to show him the true nature of his mind so that with his own mind he can understand his own problems. If he can do that, he can solve his own problems himself. I don’t believe that I can solve his problems by simply talking to him a little. That might make him feel a bit better, but it’s very transient relief. The root of his problems reaches deep into his mind; as long as it’s there, changing circumstances will cause more problems to emerge."

I made the mistake of looking for outside resources to cope with my mental illness and issues. I looked to therapists to fix me, medications, diet, classes, money, school, friends/family, on and on it went. Nothing and no one could fix me. This article your reading can't fix you, I can't. You can however, you can help yourself. No matter how sick you are you can help yourself. Your environment can guide you, your family and therapists can guide you and support you but you have to do the work. It is a lifelong commitment to stay healthy. Your worth it though.

References:
Julie K. Hersh http://www.psychologytoday.com/experts/julie-k-hersh
Buddhist Approach to Mental Illness http://mandala.fpmt.org/archives/older/mandala-issues-for-1999/may/a-buddhist-approach-to-mental-illness/

Mental Illness and Laughter

                                          From Flickr by Embellishedminds

So this weeks lesson (for myself, now I will share it with you) is realizing how important it is to laugh, especially when you have a mental illness. Last weeks post I realized how important it was to have a wellness kit created in case of a mental meltdown (because of course I was having one) writing and meditation helped ease the hold depression took on me but now I realized I left out one key ingredient; laughter. Now again for the second week depression and anxiety are dancing merrily inside my head. So I asked myself, whats missing? Laughter. 

I wrote all my angry morbid thoughts, I meditate twice a day yet my brain still seems so vulnerable to snap at any moment (at least that's what the anxiety keeps telling me). I've kind of hid from the world for the last week because I don't want anyone to see me like this, I’m a hobble of a women slopped into some clothes with eyeballs on top, at least that's how I feel. Every time I get depressed I don't want to be around other people mainly because I hate to think I’m spreading my icky negative germs around everywhere.

So I think about laughter and decided I need to watch something funny. I watched a stand-up comedian and started laughing and felt much better after wards. Actually the whole day turned out better and my dark morbid thoughts and fearful anxiety has lifted. It is so important for us to laugh, to laugh at the world and laugh at ourselves!

When was the last time....

When was the last time you laughed at yourself? Searching for this link between laughter and mental illness was not very fruitful, there wasn't a lot out there on the internet that has to do with mental illness and laughing. I did find a study on Time Health and Family talking about the ability to laugh at yourself which studies ones ability to 'say' they laugh at themselves and ones who genuinely laugh at themselves.

Many of us take things too seriously. When you take life seriously, when failures arise or issues trip you up it is more likely you will feel pain. We don't want to feel pain right? Naturally we tend to avoid it, so a great trait is to be able to laugh at yourself and your shortcomings.

I bounce back and forth only because my sense of reality is messed up sometimes, but my overall personality characteristic has been very humorous. I make fun of myself at least everyday if not all day. When depression hits, my humorous nature turns into morbid humor. I make exaggerated claims of something absolutely awful happening, something so ridiculous that it's a worse case scenario that can't possibly happen so it makes me and others laugh because of how utterly ridiculous it sounds.

When was the last time you laughed at yourself? Really genuinely laughed at yourself, when your depressed do you ever stop and listen to your thoughts and say,”that's absurd! I'm nuts for thinking that way.” One week I had this happen, I went from thinking about suicide (should I just do it? Could I? I just can't take this pain anymore) then I looked at the clouds in the sky and wondered what would happen if we didn't have an atmosphere, would we all get sucked into space? I said (out loud of course because I tend to talk to myself), “I'm so glad we have an atmosphere.” I stopped for a moment, realized my thought pattern and started laughing my butt off. How do you go from pondering over suicide to thinking about the atmosphere and saying how grateful I was for having one? I can say I’m ridiculous, all humans are ridiculous and we should all laugh at the many ways we are.

"It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and 

laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either."

Wayne Dyer

Take The Time

I am sure we all have heard that laughter is good medicine. It can lower blood pressure, boosts the immune system, and decreases pain. How come we don't use this alongside therapy, medications, and everything else? I don't remember my therapist or psychologist asking when the last time I laughed was. 

If your feeling stressed, depressed, manic, OCD, anxious, confused, whatever your issue, take time to laugh. Sometimes I am stubborn, I am so miserable I feel injustice when others try to make me laugh or suggest I do something to pep me up. My first thought is “they don't care about me and my issues.” It's not injustice though, it a remedy because you can't feel angry and laugh at the same time, or depressed and laugh about something. It's just not possible.

It is okay to feel these feelings, it's allowed to feel miserable, but there comes a time when you need to just move on because those feelings aren't serving you. They have no purpose but to make you feel lousy. Take time out to laugh, I know your upset, maybe even stubborn like me, and it doesn't mean you don't care about your feelings or that others don't find your problems/feelings important but you have to let go sometime and move on, even for a moment. It's good for your health, it's good for your life.

Be Silly by Andre' T.

What makes you laugh?

• Funny movies
• Stand-up comedians
• reading/telling jokes
• funny books

Tell us what makes you laugh. Here's one for the book; one time I was feeling awful. I got a fire under my butt and decided to do something ridiculous. My husband and I had to run an errand after work and I thought it would be hilarious to dress up funny. So I back brushed (ratted) my hair, put a floppy sun hat on, over-sized sun glasses, and rep lipstick which I put on and around my lips, plus I had a bunch of scarves around my neck. So we went driving around (my husband can't stop laughing) and I look at people who we stopped next to at stoplights. They look over, their eyes get big, then they slowly turn to look forward again pretending I am not there. Some people just stare, unsure of what they were looking at. After the whole trip was through my husband and I laughed all night, not only at the stunt I did, but about life in general. Take time to laugh!

Resources:

http://www.helpguide.org/life/humor_laughter_health.htm Benefits of laughter

http://healthland.time.com/2011/08/09/why-laughing-at-yourself-may-be-good-for-you-first-ever-study/ Study of ability to laugh at yourself

Pulling Out of Depression and Anxiety: Remembering Your Wellness Plan

Photo by Marsmet from Flickr

Last week I discussed writing as a way to cope with mental illness and trauma on a needed bases and as a long term coping method. This article I want to explain how I pulled out of deep depression and gripping anxiety using writing and meditation. This week has been unwittingly hard and my mental/emotional problems almost got the best of me, well in all honesty they did. I write about overcoming mental illness to help others and show you that you can gain control over your life but as I write this I still struggle greatly, day in and day out and the lessons and practical advice I write about has helped me but it hasn't cured me. I haven't found the cure for the deep suffering I and others encounter because unfortunately we are human and that’s what humans do, we suffer. Why do we suffer so much as humans? Unlike other creatures on this planet we have ego, we have a make believe self we must protect. I have been on a mission for as long as I can remember trying to fix my 'self.' Times like this week I ask myself, is all this work I have done to end my suffering been done in vain? No, not at all.

I have accepted that nothing will cure or end my suffering. From my experience no medication has cured me or any amount of therapy. No amount of wisdom, knowledge, truth, discipline has kept me completely safe from feeling pain. It is not because I am weak or that I am doing 'something' wrong, it's just apart of being human, a human that has a malfunctioning brain too. I can say with conviction that practicing a higher form of mental/emotional discipline and seeking truth and wisdom, and using tools such as meditation and writing has in fact 'eased' my suffering.

This week by all honesty was painful, not so much because life has thrown some curve balls but because my mind has got the best of me. I was brought to me knees with malicious anxiety that felt like someone poured hot lava inside my body and I was being boiled from the inside out. It was mentally/emotionally/physically painful. Depression came in right after and drug me to dark places, as dark as contemplating whether all this suffering is worth anything. Death was a near and dear friend. Needless to say it got bad, I had to put a stop to this. (By the way if your at all contemplating suicide please reach out to someone you trust or perhaps call this hotline number).

I started to write, I wrote so hard and furiously my hand ached, I wrote all the horrid thoughts that pounded the inside of my skull. I yelled and screamed and pleaded on paper until my thoughts took on a less emotional score, the words came out softer the anger and desperation started to lose their power. I started to write how I needed to meditate, I needed to find stillness. I needed to remember my practice, my purpose of peace, my purpose of overcoming my mind, of focusing my mind.

So I meditated. I meditated for 15 or so minutes. This time I meditated and focused on my breath. I did this because my mind was so jumbled and fatigued I needed to sit and listen and feel my breathe bring my attention and awareness down to earth.

Breathe Meditation

This is a traditional Buddhist mindfulness meditation, focusing on the breathe being the first foundation. There are four foundations which are practiced so that one may be mindful of experiences in their daily life. The first foundation is to focus on body sensations.

The breathe meditation can be done either sitting up or laying down (just don't fall asleep). Sit still and leave your hands either opened facing up or at least relaxed. You can close your eyes or keep them open and soften your gaze by looking at something still like the tip of your nose or near the ground. Your eyes will relax more if they gaze downward.

Now watch your breathe. Don't change your breathing, just breathe like you normally breathe. I use to botch this part up as I would always try to breathe deeply in, hold it, then let it go for a certain amount of counts. This is not the point of the meditation. The point is just to feel your breathe, feel your chest or stomach moving up and down, the air coming in your nose/mouth and out again.

When your mind wanders just focus your attention back to your breathe and feel the air, the movement, whatever sensation you feel related to your breathe. If you are in physical pain (which was the case for me recently since I injured my back) keep moving your attention back to your breathe. Don't judge your breathing just feel the breathe.

Realization

I realized after the meditation that I let my life get ahead of my coping capabilities and I never stopped to refocus on my practices, on my own prescribed wellness treatment. I saw that the wounded and suffering part of me was a delusion. That this fantasy 'self ' was taking things personal, she was beating herself up for not living up to my expectations.

I cannot expect wellness if I never take time out to practice being well. I realized that I must dedicate my life to being well to overcoming my mind and to reaching out to others. I don't want to succumb to the darkness of my mind, I don't want to believe in the lies it tells me, I have to strive every day focus again and again on what reality is, that in that moment when time is suspended it is just me and my breathe and for that brief moment I realize the truth.

Kara Moore from Flickr

Wellness Plan

This is how I got out of those dark places. To keep myself out I must stay on top of my wellness plan. This includes taking time out of my day to write, to ask myself how I am feeling, what I need, and meditation. My family walks around these rituals as they know just like a diabetic I need structure or I will become sick.

What makes you feel better? Meditation, taking a bath, writing, drawing, reading? Getting a tool kit together is imperative to maintaining wellness. There is a chapter in Bipolar for Dummies about creating a tool kit for bipolar. These are things like lifesavers that you can grab hold of when you start to fall into sickness. It also suggests involving your family, giving them tasks to do if they notice your behaviors off. 

Helpful Resources

Here is a website I found that explains more in depth about starting a mindfulness meditation practice it describes the different foundations of mindfulness and some great insights about the benefits of mindfulness. It also has a mental illness approach as well that may help you.

I hope you find peace on your journey and if you or someone you know has a mental illness leave a comment or email me with any tools, techniques, truths you've found that help you cope and stay well.